11 Roles for Loved Ones Who Aren't in Your Wedding Party (2024)

The decisions the two of you will make together about your wedding, including the look and feel of the event and its size, are deeply personal—and there are plenty of reasons why you might decide to forgo certain traditions. For some duos, that involves skipping the large wedding party or scaling down the number of bridesmaids or groomsmen that stand up next to you on the big day. Maybe asking a smaller circle of VIPs to fill these traditional roles feels more aligned with your real-world friendships, which is why having just one or two close friends by your side feels like the best choice.

If that's the case, you might be wondering about ways to include the other important people in your life in your big day. This could be true even if you're opting for a larger bridal party—there's still a good chance that you'll have other friends and relatives that you'd like to honor, but not necessarily in a bridesmaid or groomsman-type role.

Luckily, there are a myriad of ways to do so. To help, we tapped two wedding planners who have hands-on experience with these alternative wedding party assignments. Ahead, they share a list of meaningful options, from expected jobs (like ushers and ceremony readers) to nontraditional wedding party roles, like a social media manager or adult ring bearer.

Alternative Wedding Roles for Friends and Family Who Aren't Bridesmaids or Groomsmen

There are several jobs friends and family members who are not in your wedding party can take on on the big day—including a few nontraditional wedding party roles, like social media manager or polaroid camera photographer, you might not even know about.

1. Ceremony Reader

No matter what style of wedding you're planning, there are bound to be opportunities for one or more readings during the ceremony, which could be anything from poignant poems to religious passages. "Readings during the ceremony can be very meaningful," says Beth Helmstetter, a wedding planner and event designer. "This is a great role to give to a sister-in-law, distant friend, or cousin."

2. Officiant

"Entrusting a friend or family member with the role of officiant adds a deeply personal and intimate touch to the ceremony," says wedding planner Kia Marie of Kia Marie Events. "Their connection with the couple allows for a heartfelt and customized ceremony, making the wedding more meaningful and memorable." Helmstetter agrees, noting that this job is perfect for a loved ones who excels in front of a crowd. "If you have a friend who is good at public speaking and knows you as a couple, this can be a very honorable role," she adds.

3. Musician or Singer

Obviously, this only applies if someone's musically inclined, but if you're lucky enough to have talented musicians or singers in your lives, why not ask if they could perform in some capacity during the ceremony? Their moment in the spotlight could happen during the actual ceremony itself or as prelude music leading up to the ceremony beginning, too, which creates a lovely ambience as guests arrive and take their seats.

4. Candle Lighter

If you're having candles at the altar or will be lighting a unity candle during the ceremony, ask one or two friends to be candle lighters: Just before the ceremony begins (when guests are seated and music is playing), they can ceremonially light the candles using long matches.

5. Ring Bearer or Flower Person

Who says the bearer of the rings has to be a young child? Ask a close friend to hold your wedding bands during the ceremony and then approach the altar when the officiant is about to conduct the vows and rings exchange, to deliver the rings. The same goes for your "flower girl"—after all, there's nothing quite like watching a group of guys toss petals down the aisle.

6. Usher

One easy wedding role for close friends or relatives who will know a fair amount of the guests arriving? Ask them to serve as usher; they can distribute programs and show other attendees to their seats. "For your friend or family members who are outgoing, this can be a great opportunity for them to meet and greet all of the guests upon arrival," says Helmstetter.

7. Chuppah Holder

If you're having a Jewish ceremony, you could ask members of your bridal party or other wedding VIPs to each hold a chuppah pole. Enlist another loved one to be the glass bearer, to carry the glassware that will be shattered at the ceremony's conclusion.

8. Processional Escort

For special family members you would like to include in the processional, ask them to escort your grandparents or other more elderly relatives down the aisle. For escorts, along with any of these specialty wedding roles, feel free to list them in your ceremony program, as a nod to their importance.

9. Marriage License Witness

You might ask an honored friend or relative to be the witness to the signing of your official marriage license. This is a document that will be with you for life—what could possibly be more important than that?

10. Social Media Manager

Have a friend who is particularly tech-savvy? "They can effectively manage the wedding's social media presence, ensuring that joyful moments are shared in real-time," says Marie. "This role allows them to contribute to the celebration's digital narrative, creating a sense of inclusivity for guests who couldn't attend." It also takes the pressure of you, the couple—between this pal, your photographer, and your videographer, you'll have every memory-worthy moment captured.

11. Polaroid Camera Photographer

Though we advise only putting this person's role into action during the reception—and particularly, the dance party portion of the evening—this is another great job for an outgoing friend or family member. With a polaroid camera in hand, this person can capture every candid moment—and those keepsake photos will add a "nostalgic and tangible aspect to the wedding's documentation," says Marie (plus, the printed images are great for your big-day scrapbook!).

Friends and Family Members Who Can Fill These Roles

While the above wedding jobs can be filled by just about anyone close to you, our experts say they're particularly perfect for those relatives that fall just outside your VIP circle. "Sisters- or brothers-in-law are usually perfect candidates for the alternative roles," affirms Helmstetter, who says to also consider "cousins who you don't see as often and friends who have been a large part of your history, but aren't as active in your life any longer."

According to Marie, a favorite colleague or neighbor can also step in. The main requirement, however, is simple: Choose people who want to show up for you. "The key is to select individuals based on their willingness, availability, and suitability for specific tasks, ensuring a joyous and inclusive wedding celebration," says Marie.

Roles You Should Never Ask Friends or Family to Take On

In short, never ask a friend or family member to take on a big-day job that you would otherwise pay for. These roles include wedding planner and designer, day-of coordinator, photographer, floral designer, and caterer, say Marie and Helmstetter—even if any of these jobs are their actual profession. "They will not be able to be present for the celebration if they are serving in these capacities," Helmstetter explains.